Covid Started 2 Years Ago: Yes, It's Ok to Still Not Feel Ok at Work.
It’s January 2022 and we’re approaching the 2-year mark since the start of COVID.
Unfortunately, it’s become common to hear people say something like: “This is life now. So we need to move on, do our jobs, and deal with it.”
Not helpful at all, right?
Photo by Tima Miroshnichenko from Pexels
This mindset is unrealistic and ignores the ongoing trauma that many people continue to experience, such as:
Catching COVID
Helping sick loved ones
Processing survivor’s guilt
Handling the trauma and fear of going through contact tracing
Fearing the spread of the Omicron (and possibly other) variants
Instead of “dealing with it,” it’s more helpful if we try to understand these feelings and be kinder to ourselves and others.
It’s ok to say that you’re still not ok. We’re all different people since March 2020 — and that’s ok. Our world has changed and we have too.
These feelings are completely reasonable and reflect the sentiment of the world at large. Normalizing this sentiment in conversations needs to happen more often because this reality will continue. Whether we like it or not, we are still in the early days of all this: COVID, this reality, and all the feelings that go along with it.
The best way to address this? Meet it head-on and do it everywhere, in all aspects of our lives.
The aim? To realistically understand where we are now. And practice talking about how our new reality continues to affect our mental health.
THE REALITY OF OUR SITUATION
It’s normal to still have emotional reactions to a continuously volatile world. Have you ever felt like you’re having a really tough time “getting your s**t together?” Trust me, billions of people feel the same way you do.
Whether we like it or not, this reality is happening — and all the struggles that come with it.
OUTSIDE OF WORK
There are countless stressors that continue to impact your mental health, whether you’re conscious of them or not. Think ‘life’ + ‘pandemic’ = a constantly-fried you. Except it doesn’t taste good.
So what are some of the biggest stressors you may have?
Trauma fatigue is occurring more and more. Even if you weren’t directly affected by COVID, you could still be grieving the loss of your life as it was before the pandemic.¹ (What I like to call the “Before Time.”)
Chronic stress is on the rise too. Concerns about work, the pandemic, social issues, and more, make you feel like you’re always under attack. According to The Mayo Clinic, over time, long-term chronic stress can lead to a smorgasbord of mental and physical health problems, such as:
Anxiety
Depression
Digestive problems
Headaches
Heart disease, heart attack, high blood pressure, and strokes
Sleep problems²
On top of this, so many people are feeling overwhelmed by their evolving financial situations or feeling the stress of constantly being home with family members.
If you’re in a committed partnership or marriage, it used to be a nights-and-weekends thing — but now it’s an all-the-time thing. It’s no wonder that many couples are struggling not to burst into flames of anger with one another.
If you’re a parent, I truly know how much you love your children. But I also know that having zero breaks from your kids weighs on you — even if you feel guilty to admit it.
INSIDE OF WORK
Whether your office is virtual or in a building, there are so many struggles that people are encountering at work during the pandemic.
Some of the most common ones are:
Heightened Imposter Syndrome a.k.a. you already felt like you weren’t good enough at your job. Now, the opportunities for people to sense-check your irrational feelings aren’t around as much.
Social isolation from coworkers.
Re-entry anxiety when it’s time to return to the office — whenever that will be.
You could experience something that I call “wellbeing shaming.” This is snarky, snide, or passive-aggressive comments from your colleagues or boss.
You’ll hear these comments when others see you doing things to prioritize your mental health as much as you prioritize your work. An example is when they put you down for trying to stop work at 3pm on a Friday in an effort to find work-life balance.
You might feel even more stressed if your company doesn’t foster a culture of acceptance and understanding when it comes to mental health and mental illness.
And talking about it would feel as secure as walking a tight rope on a piece of yarn.
3 TIPS FOR CONSTRUCTIVE MENTAL HEALTH CONVERSATIONS
The list above is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what people are going through these days.
It’s crucial that you normalize your feelings — not only outside the office but at work too. And that you encourage others to do this as well.
And talking about your mental health with others will help you quickly realize that you’re not alone in how you feel. Your coworkers and colleagues are experiencing similar stress and emotions, even if they don’t talk about it.
So give yourself a break — and try using the tips below to start these mental health conversations at work.
TIP #1 — SET YOUR INTENTIONS
Before starting a conversation about your mental health, set your intentions. Jot down a few notes or have in your mind:
Who do you want to talk to?
What do you want that person to know?
What is your goal or outcome by talking to the other person?
What tone and approach do you want to use?
Knowing who you want to talk to is the very first step — and be intentional about who you pick. Is it your manager, a coworker, or your entire team?
Then determine what you want that person(s) to know and what outcome you want to achieve. Consider these examples:
If you’re sharing with your manager, is it to ask for a change in your workload?
If you’re sharing with a coworker, is it to clue them into your current struggles?
If you’re sharing with your team, is it to give them an update on your behavior?
Knowing who you’re talking to and what you want them to know is crucial. This is your why — and the whole reason for having the conversation in the first place. (I call this sharing with purpose.)
Once you know these things, you can decide on your approach and tone of the conversation:
Are you actually ok getting emotional?
Do you want to keep things casual and informal?
Do you want to relay the facts and keep things brief?
Getting clear about your intentions will help you feel more comfortable and prepared to talk about mental health at work.
TIP #2 — PLAN THE LOGISTICS
Choosing the right time and place to have a conversation about mental health is just as important as setting your intentions.
You want this conversation to be successful — so set it up for success. Let the other person know you want to talk to them and find a time that’s best for you both. It could be:
Your weekly one-on-one meeting with your manager.
Some time after hours or outside of work.
During your lunch hour.
The key thing is to choose a time and place (virtual or in person) when you can both focus on this discussion. There shouldn’t be any other distractions.
You should also consider the medium for the conversation. Will this be:
In-person and socially distanced?
On a video chat?
Over the phone?
Via text message?
Pick the medium that you feel comfortable with. Being able to see the person’s face and hear their voice is ideal. This way you can read the other person’s body language as well.
Due to the complexity of mental health conversations, “talking” via text message (or a similar outlet) is something I wouldn’t recommend. While text messaging lets you plan out what you’re going to say, you (and the other person) can’t hear each others’ tone of voice.
TIP #3 — ACCEPT HOW YOU FEEL
Once you start talking, you may feel surprised by how you react.
Although it can be difficult, don’t be afraid to show your feelings in front of the other person. Experiencing your emotions during a personal conversation is healthy.
At the end of the day, we’re all human. We’re meant to experience the full range of emotions — the good and bad ones.
“It’s ok to be vulnerable… It’s ok to have emotions that don’t feel good and to experience them in front of others.”³
The goal is to normalize your feelings and encourage others to do this as well. With this shared connection, you’ll realize you’re not alone in your struggles.
If you’re on the other side of the conversation, you can normalize that person’s emotions and reactions to what’s happening around them. Make sure they know:
It’s ok not to be ok.
So many others struggle with this same issue.
They’re not alone — we all feel negative emotions at times.
TALKING IS GOOD FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
It’s understandable that we’re still struggling with our mental health. Why? Because this is a really tough reality to adjust to.
By having mental health at work conversations, we adjust better to this new reality and take the edge off our stress. We must also shift our mindset:
To accept that it’s still ok to not be ok
To normalize our feelings and experiences
To encourage others to do the same
The world will continue to change and we will too. So we need to have constructive conversations to support us through this.
Want to talk more about normalizing mental health at work in your company? Reach out to Melissa and see how she can help.
Want to get more conversation tips? Check out Melissa’s new book.
Sources:
Chatterjee, Rhitu. “If Your Brain Feels Foggy and You're Tired All the Time, You're Not Alone.” NPR, NPR, 7 May 2021, https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2021/05/06/992401123/if-your-brain-feels-foggy-and-youre-tired-all-the-time-youre-not-alone.
“Chronic Stress Puts Your Health at Risk.” Mayo Clinic, Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research, 8 July 2021, https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/stress/art-20046037.
Doman, Melissa. Yes, You Can Talk about Mental Health at Work: Here's Why ... and How to Do It Really Well. Welbeck Publishing Group, 2021.
