Written for & published by In Her Shoes Foundation (February 2014)
By Melissa Doman, M.A.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain
What’s your fantasy? No, I’m not talking about the Ludacris song.
I’m talking about what are your fantasies about your goals, places you want to go, the design of your future home, things you want to do, and what you want to experience. The key is creating steps you can feasibly do over time to make those fantasies into achievable realistic goals. So, instead of constantly saying, “I wish I could,” pick up a piece of paper and a pen, or pin up motivational statements on a corkboard, or type up a word document on your computer, and start making actual concrete action plans that you can work towards.
First, you need to do is stop saying “I wish” and turn those words into “I will.” In my life, I have come across too many people who let their time and desires slip away from them by adopting phrasing in their day to day lives that has the undertone of unintentionally failing. The key is to change your every day language into wording that creates a sense of accountability for you to hold up to. Look at it like working out a muscle. The longer you do it, the stronger you will get, and the more you will believe in your ability to do it.
Second, a lot of people have problems narrowing down what it is they want to have in their lives and ultimately become too overwhelmed to choose, so they end up settling for what is.
Talk about a recipe for an unsatisfying life!
Your best friend here is organization. Keep your stuff together and have a method to the madness. In fact, incorporating a sense of organization in this process may inspire you to get more organized in other arenas of your life as well. A positive side effect I’d say. If you want positive things to happen in your life, you need to organize and emit positive goals for yourself. If you’re interested in something called the “law of attraction,” do some research online and you’d be amazed at what you’d find.
Third, there is no one singular process to creating the life you want to live. It’s different for everyone. So, while you may ask others for suggestions on how to get the process started, remember, try to make it your own. Most importantly, remember that this process is a marathon, not a sprint. The way you want to create your beautiful life may change over and over again – and that’s ok. As long as you keep yourself accountable for maintaining your vision – you’re good to go.
Now, off you go, enjoy designing your life!